For those of us who either have a three year old or have survived a three year old, you know what I am talking about in this post.
For the rest, let me tell you a little story, don’t worry, it will be a short one because it only entails the adventures from this mornings routine. That’s only 3 hours long.
Before I open my eyes, I hear that tiny, cute, froggy voice telling me “It’s morning time”. MMhhMM I mutter and hope she understands that I did indeed respond effectively. (Well, at least as effective as you can after being up and down all night with said tiny, cute, froggy voice who likes to sleep in my bed with me but is too hot for covers and too cold without them.. I digress) She tells me she’s “oh so hungry” and “are you coming yet momma?” all in the span of about one minute. I’m asking, no, pleading with this child who has only been alive three years to please give me five more minutes and “I’ll be right there”. She sulks off to interrogate her sisters about what it is they are doing in the kitchen and whether they can stay home from school today. Note to the wise, teens prompt three year old to ask the parental units if the teens can stay home and play with them, don’t give in to the sweet face, behind it is a laughing teenager!
I finally hop out of bed, find my glasses, unplug my cell phone while checking to see if I missed a call telling me we won the lottery. Zero calls missed, oh well.
From the kitchen I hear my eldest daughter trying to play deal or no deal with the three year old, except this game isn’t the same as the one on television. This is the game all children of three play to learn how they can manipulate four grown-ups into dong what ever they want them to do. I think these are the rules, I haven’t seen the rules though, I’m just guessing so don’t quote me to your three year old!
1. Ask the child if they are hungry.
2 The child responds with the answer “I want to play the Wii”
3. Pour your coffee because it’s going to be a long morning
This kid never, EVER, knows what she wants for breakfast. She may finally tell you after a lot of crying, that she’d like pancakes but that was not one of the options you gave her so you have to tell her you don’t have pancake mix today and you really must buy some soon. She of course doesn’t take this news well and refuses to hear anything else that you suggest to her from that point on. Of course there is the crying included here.
If you ever manage to get your three year old to sit down to a bowl of something, first, you win an award. Second, they only eat three bites because they are three years old and somehow that has translated into three bites is all I have to eat until I can get down and terrorize mommy again!
I’m exhausted, insane, frazzled, overwhelmed, and my neck needs a massage.
It’s only 9am…